Dear Hipster Crafter,
I vended next to you today. Are cigarettes a thing? I mean, this is the BEST farmer's market in Denver. Organic produce, live music, vendors with high-quality wares. Like my soaps, which smell amazing.
My soaps smell amazing, dude.
They do NOT need your CIGARETTE SMOKE interfering with their lovely presentation and odor. Jesus. This is not only a vendor violation, but also disgusting. It does not make you cool.
NOT COOL, HIPSTER.
And another thing! You bark. Barking is not allowed. This is not a carnival. This is not shakedown street, full of swindlers and snake oil salesmen. Unless that's what you are selling, which is not the case. You holler at people walking by, who are enjoying a relaxing Sunday morning. You holler at them to come over and have a sample, you are just DYING to share your stuff with them, come on over and try it out, don't be shy!
NOT COOL, HIPSTER!
You behave as if you are chic somehow. You think it's just fine to dress in shorts and flip-flops on a 60-degree day, when everyone else is walking by in jackets and scarves. Your ruddy complexion tells me that you are probably also hung over, but I'm not interested in getting too close to find out. I mistakenly looked your way once, only to see your hairy butt hanging out of the top of your shorts, sans underpants.
I repeat. SANS UNDERPANTS. SO NOT COOL, HIPSTER!
You need to stop vending next to me and go away.
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Who writes this?
Hi, I'm Amy Kalinchuk. I am an author, publisher, crafter, entrepreneur, roller derby skater, wife, mom, and friend. I try to be organized and maintain an air of enviable breezy elegance. I do not always succeed. But crafting? I can do that. And small business. I can do that, too. So can you! No, seriously, you can do this! I'll show you.